its calld revamping when u try to obtain the same tracks of u r worldly fullness.... worldly here has a distinctive meaning... it truly contextualize the term childhood ..its bcoz at that time of infancy u r content with everything ...love, affection, free from any worldyly desires. bt when we grow older their is that unjustified hunger. which take us away from all the love and affection. in our lives we go thru the HLC curve human life cycle. content in the starting and then on highs everything it sems the world os at ur feet and u can gear up to any heights u want ...bt after this euphoria there comes a trough of ur hlc ,....the belongings of this world never attracts u bt u r searching fr the same love and affection.. that u have forget somewhere in that worldly desires..

today i was sitting with nothing in my mind but something unknowngily was hammering my senses and trying to put me in the situation which i dont want to think about, it is the situation of responsibilities, untold and unsaid hopes. i look in to those eyes and i feel like hanging myself, those eyes never askd for anythin, nt in lieu of everything they have given us. they have seen most of the troughs in their lifes bt never let us do compromise on our priorities. neverthless we were ruthless on our part to make our priorities facililitating our needs only. at that moment i was least aware about fact that, these priorities will going to be cemented as obstacles to my dreams.

this is the time lets get up and make a difference to those dreams, give it a try i m dying to see a little shine in those eyes... give them a hope ...

another tough day to be cald or to be blamed for the insanity of life....i cant myself in the mirror ....even aftr doin MBA hw mch i m proving my existence ....u knw the toughst thing in life is to prove urself when it need the most...and there i am failing miserably ...i m nt even able to keep my promises to me ....i m sitting infrnt of my parents nd i see a sadness in their eyes which may engulf them i m helpless im coward bt its gonna change soon...

the present i thought in my past

so i have dreamed MBA as a pass to some prestigious company...rite from the startin when thought of workin in big corporates even before the name MBA crashed my ears ......a subtle image of me sitting on a chair with a coffee on the table and 2clock night in the clock hanging on a wall in front of me was a frame of my future days in my mind....which is necessarily was turning in to a goal of my life... i started taking steps to prove this subtle image to be true to my life.. the first step was clearin MBA somehow i managed to do that from nt so famous B school in some unknown place ....and after that i placed in to not so known company in a famous bangalore.... so at present this unknown person as me is workin in this unknown company ....lookin in the past i find myself lost in somewhere ....this is nt the place where i thought of...this is nt the realization my subtle image...or this is nt the present i thought in my past.......

life is a journey of totally unexpected turns ...when u r on a high and gaining enough confidence to fly and touch the sky it rambles u to the ground with turn of 180 degree ...actin as an unresponsive and enormous force of gravity....bt why always people like me feels to be duped by this life or destiny ,,,why we never be able to gear ourself for better heights,,,...are we destined to face all these troughs in life

so here it is again m writing this blog to shed my frustration on a small box ...by filling wid this black words...now the question why the hell m so pissed off the reason is again me ... m i really doin wat i want to do in my life..... sarcastically no ,,, bcoz i ever imagined me as a person..just imaginig myself or may be exaggeratin ...i look out of my dream window and see a person sitin in a office with his laptop and a cup of coffee ...nd jst imagine its 1am yes its am and suraly nite

bt wat the hell i m doin rite now 10 to 5 office just as those of like govern. buggers i hated it ever since i know wat is job .. wat profusely and profoundly m doin the same ..nd the main concern concern is m nt givin a shit about it

cant take it more

being reticent for so many years made me coward... i am trying to engrave my lost identity of a winner and want to incarnate myself. but the only fear that is putting my endeavor on the back seat to do so is the time factor. will it be really easy for me to get in to real me after so many years....will it be easy to rejoice the same serenity and calmness.

life has taken an absurd turn in my life and it is the first time i am down on my knees with no more resilience to face the harsh truth of this immutable life. this is the first time i am just a spectator not being able to change the course....this is the first time my master is a fate of somebody else....